Would you consider this abuse?

Yes it is. I got many friends like that and can tell you if you stay two thing will happen.. 1 is he will slowly get worse and more crazy towards you or 2 he will stay the same and you will put up with the embarrassment and feel like a piece of @##$. If you feel that way long enough you will feel like you can't do better and let him control you and destroy your self confidence. Things will get real bad if you have a kid with him because he will always be around and you won't want him to be an influence on your kid. PS. You probably can not name 2 ppl. that planned to have kids other than some older parent trying to say they did, to be good role models, so please be safe in bed and if he comes around to be a good guy give it 8 months before you start to believe he changed no matter how nice he acts, because a lot of them will be perfect for months when they think they may lose there girl but its a front until he feels he is back in control